Let's wrap this up right.

Tomorrow is my last day of high school ever.
In past years, you saw this day come for the seniors outta fucking nowhere; they had their video cameras, and were practically skipping down the halls, grins stuck to their faces, no backpacks in sight.
In past years, the musical's senior speeches caused an overwhelming flow of tears and a huge, disheartening blur of emotions.
This year is so different. And I might enjoy that fact, if I wasn't so concerned about my reactions to both.

I might cry tomorrow. I sort of hope I cry tomorrow. I still can't get over how foreign the senior speeches were this year, when my feelings barely touched the surface of sadness. It's just weird, you know? How happy everybody was last year that they were leaving. I thought they were all happy, at least. So why is every senior I've talked to freaked out over tomorrow? Is that the way it was in past years?

I am sooo excited for this summer. I'm quite excited for college. I'm even getting amped to live in Philly, a prospect which, up until a few days ago, honestly scared the shit out of me. And up until a few days ago, I still wasn't sure that Drexel was where I wanted to go. But you know what? I think that I only thought that way, because I was too afraid to admit that it just might be an absolute perfect match.
I can hope, at any rate.

"When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it is not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end." Stephenie Meyer, I will continue to love you forever for this quote; it's the only reasoning I can give towards how I'm feeling about things ending. Senior year has been the most fan-fucking-tastic year of my life. It didn't go by too fast like people warned it might, and it wasn't terribly stressful, and I made the best friends of my life who I had the best fucking times of my life with. When family members would exlaim, "Oooh, senior year! It's the best one, have a great time!", I thought that I was sure to be let down. But seriously, let's talk about a dream so far beyond any of your expectations. Because that's really what it was. So it's ending. It's been so much more than I could ever ask for, and that's the way it has to be. The world's gonna keep turning - new freshmen will be here next year, the school will be torn down, our juniors will become the seniors who will be running around Disney and directing the children's theatre show.. and we'll be living these whole new lives in whole new surroundings. It's so compelling. Next year we get to move. We get total independance from our parents, we get new environments and places and people from which to draw inspiration, we get new friends and advisors, perspectives. The works. And, as Amanda pointed out to me tonight amidst all our freaking out, we're losing the people from high school we don't like, we're keeping the ones we do, and we're making MORE fabulous friends. So it's kind of tough to lose when you look at the situation like that.

Is it right to feel content when passing by one of the biggest milestones of your life? I think that's what scares me the most. Is that everything as of right now feels exactly how it should. I'm the perfect balances of nerves and excitement. I'm focused solely on living in the moment. My days are all categorized as 'pretty good' or 'fucking hilarious'. Time is passing by at the perfect pace, and has been for quite some time now.
"Life is like a bowlful of jello; the only time you should truly worry about it, is when it's standing completely still."
Would you call this still?